The conversation started well. She said she was a scrum master and a physiologist. That she moved here to study business, but really, her dream was to study fashion and run her own creative company.
But when I asked her what happened, it quickly tapered off. First, she was “too lazy to type,” then “busy with vacation,” then she “couldn’t be bothered with small talk.”
When she didn’t want to get coffee either, I asked her why she even used a dating app, and there it was: “Oh, I’m just bored.”
At this point it was obvious to me that this was heading absolutely nowhere. So I pushed the philosophy button with my response. Here’s what I said:
“I started being a freelancer in 2014. I have not been bored for a single day since. I’m not sure how serious you are about starting your own company and chasing your fashion dream again, but that sounds a lot like procrastination to me.
There is no such thing as being bored. It’s always something else. So either you’re putting off quitting your job and starting because you’re scared, too lazy to do it on the side, or not really serious about it. I hope you figure out what it is!”
There’s a great saying about boredom: You’re not bored, you’re boring. With the girl I talked to, maybe that was the case. But, often, there’s something deeper going on.
We live in a world where we’re 100% connected, 100% of the time. It’s impossible to be bored unless you choose to - and most people never do. They might say they’re bored but, really, they’re filling their time with little, meaningless distractions.
After all, that’s much better than facing the existential dread underneath. The fear that we’re not good enough. The fact that we failed. That we’re hesitant to commit.
Boredom is a thinly veiled excuse for not living up to your potential.
In a world where you give your best to do so, it simply doesn’t exist.
Sometimes, it takes a stranger on the internet to remind us of this fact. But when they do, we should probably listen. Maybe, they were sent to us for a reason.
About No Sense Friday: Most people live for Friday. Relaxing on the weekend is fine, but we can’t just waste it away every time. That’s why Friday is the most important day to call out things that make no sense. Because in a way, the concept of ‘Friday’ itself makes no sense.
A good life is lived every day, not just once a week.
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